I can’t afford to give away any freebies. One of the blond dudes came over and took his billfold out of his pocket. He removed a wodge of cash and stuffed it into Jacques back pocket. ‘The only thing we want is a bit of fun.’ he told Jacques. ‘Now how about you get under the table while we eat and show us how pleased you are to see us.’ Excitement coursed through Jacques veins. He was shaking, quaking and sweating. He could hardly breathe and his heart pounded so loudly he was certain that everyone in his small town must be able to hear it. With wobbly knees he went over and locked the entrance door. Returning to the table he hovered near the beefy blond who had made the suggestion. Surely this was a wind up? Surely they didn’t want him down on his knees, under the table? But they did. The beefy blond cupped his hand around Jacques butt and gave it a good squeeze. ‘Come on, you might not get through all of us if you don’t start soon.’ he said. Jacques didn’t need a second invite. He. Gas? Check. Ok we’re ready, lets go. Then the phone rang. It was one of his redneck buddies. He wanted to come with us. My buddy said “sure the more the merrier”. Shit. This put a big damper on my hopes of seducing my bud into naked delights in some sunny mountain meadow. The road trip was about 4 hours, but it took us all day as we stopped to get high, play disc and just hang out along the way. We got there in the early evening and quickly prepared a hearty man-size meal for old gramps, as this would be treat for him. We spent a great evening together and pretty much exhausted the old boy, as he was not used to company. He announced that he was going to bed and told us to crash on the couches or in the guest bed. We carried on with some more beers and tokes around a fire then quietly made our way into the cabin to bunk down.My buddy said, “I get the guest bed.” His buddy flopped onto the best couch. I looked around and noticed the guest bed was a double and calmly said, “fuck it,.
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